You will never believe what happened to me this morning! I was waking up and doing my morning routine, eat breakfast, take a shower, brush my teeth, that sort of thing. When I was about to get changed, I saw something in my window that looked a little strange. I went to look and there he was, a man was staring through my window on a ladder!

Just as soon as he knew I saw him he started climbing down the ladder and I ran for the door outside. On my way out I grabbed the bat I keep under my bed. When I got outside I saw him running down my block and I began chasing after him. We ran for nearly 10 minutes and reached some woods. Then from there we ran another 15 until I lost sight of him.

Lost, in the middle of the woods, chasing a peeping Tom. I knew something like this could only happen to me.

The search seemed over when a bit deeper in the woods I heard the man scream. I ran out there and saw him sitting on the ground a good distance away from me. As I got closer I could see he had gotten his foot stuck in a bear trap! Actually I’m not so sure it was a bear trap because it was a bit smaller but you get the point. I walked up to him with my bat and said the sweetest one liner I could think up on the spot.

“Game over fucker” and I hit him in the face with my bat. He began to sob a bit as he held his bleeding nose, but to my surprise he began to laugh. This startled me so I hit him again and said “what’s funny faggot!” and he said, “read the first word of all the last paragraphs.”